I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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