Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
