Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
