I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
are you so shy because you have an std?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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