Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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