I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
