i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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