i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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