i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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