Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
worst night to have a conscience
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
A+ Viking dick
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
