my mouth tastes like poor choices
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
