so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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