That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
