Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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