bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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