She's JV to your varsity
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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