spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
of course. lets lasso hookers.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize