ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
