I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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