So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
