Dual....:-)
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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