Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead

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(651): View more from Minnesota

drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.

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(804): View more from Virginia

quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick

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(843): View more from South Carolina

when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?

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(254): View more from Texas

I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?

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