I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.