Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.

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(312): View more from Illinois

You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

meow

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(734): View more from Michigan

Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.

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(703): View more from Virginia

yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me

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(386): View more from Florida

he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.

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