Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
