you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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