doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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