summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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