My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
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The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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