If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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