Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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