Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
