Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Floor bacon is actually really good
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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