Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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