Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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