you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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