I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
