what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
