i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
