It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
