I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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