Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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