I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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