She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
