my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
