We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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