sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize