It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
