Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
