awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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