I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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