ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
