Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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