16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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