So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize