discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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