piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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