My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
