Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
