I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
