You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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