OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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