I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
