dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Its about making memories worth repressing
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
